The Wild Card

Visiting my second home is always a wild card (to put it nicely). Growing up, Uno was my favorite card game. I always prayed to have one dealt. However, there was no strategy on my end. All I knew was the moment I was dealt one, I was in control of my fate. Little did I know, sometimes the card did not work in my favor, and would end up jeopardizing my winning chances.

Long story short, is was how my trips back home felt at times. Except, the Wild Cards are now real-life scenarios. Always with a set of expectations to achieve by the end of the trip. Romanticizing the outcomes of hypotheticals.

With the only constant being change, one can't bet on the same opportunities as they did a year ago, not even days for HK standards. I accept that even I've changed as a person over the past six months. Priorities, goals, hobbies, aspirations, interests etc. But the vision I've held since I was 7 of creativity and integrity through dance is still the same 30 years later.

Each trip is filled with meeting new people, reconnecting with old, and moving on from some that no longer serve this particular chapter of my life. Accepting that like the cells in our body that regenerate every 7-10 years, friendships and our stages of life also go through the same process. Hong Kong still serves as a place where most of my oldest and deepest friendships were formed. The community is something I have yet to find in the bay area.

Navigating through a city that is culturally and logistically very different from the Western world, with their own set of priorities and ethos, it was proven to be a rollercoaster ride for my goals. Setbacks, life’s step-ball-change. Being in the business for over three decades, I am reminded that people are not obligated to help you. Sometimes it’s just a means to socialize and “show face” (IYKYK).

After many failed attempts for certain projects to launch, deals that fell through, plans that remained stagnant, what exactly is this Wild Card? Has life stopped dealing me those cards? Retracing my steps, did I take a wrong step with it at a point in my life that redirected my path? Up till now, it seemed these Wild Cards have become an external validation for what should be internal and personal. I wish someone told me early on that some Wild Cards are dealt as a result of decisions based on ego and power, deeply rooted in low self-esteem and insecurities. That I would play my hand of Uno a bit differently, maneuvering these traits.

As I always say, “it is what it is”, so we are going to move on to close this post. Everyone’s life breaks down to the point where nothing really makes sense. Some call it a mid-life crisis, but for my spiritual crew out there, we call it “The Awakening”. We are called to sit with our thoughts, work on our deepest fears (also known as shadows), and realign our priorities with our calling. External validation no longer is in the way of us accomplishing what we are inclined to do. Starting new ventures, or beginning again no longer scares us, as we know we are starting from experience rather than from scratch. The Wild Card is no longer something that is handed to us, but the North Star that lives within us. Guiding us towards the direction we are meant to travel.

I hope at some point in time, everyone has a moment where they discover that Wild Card that’s always lived within them. Like a talent, it stays hidden until discovered. Until then, acknowledge it will always have your best interest at heart. Trust the process.

S.

Photography by Wilfred Yuen